ATTENDING A DUTCH WEDDING? THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

If you’ve received an invite to a Dutch wedding, you’re probably very excited to attend! Keep in mind that you might be introduced to funny (and slightly odd) traditions that you’ve never seen before. If you want to show up well-prepared: we got you! We asked Sarah Glasbergen, founder of ThePerfectWedding.nl, to tell us about some unusual things you might notice during these events.

“Overall, Dutch weddings are pretty similar to those of other western countries”, Sarah says. “Chances are you’ll start with a ceremony, after which you can expect a dinner, and of course a party to seal the deal!”

Besides, most couples will give you an idea of the schedule on the invitation. More often than not, the invites also include a dress code and gift preferences.

Guest lists

“Don’t be surprised if your invite only includes a certain part of the day”, Sarah mentions. “This tradition of splitting guests comes partly from practical reasons. Most Dutch couples pay for their own wedding and inviting everyone to every part would be a bit much.” The most common options are:

Day guests
Day guests include close family and friends, who are invited to the ceremony, reception, dinner and party. These are usually the most important people in the couple’s lives and get to share the whole day with them.

Evening guests
Other friends, extended family and close colleagues often only join for the party in the evening. This allows the couple to celebrate with a larger group, without having to accommodate everyone the whole day.

Reception guests
In some cases, people are only invited to the reception. This is a quick chance to congratulate the couple. Reception guests are often acquaintances, neighbours or colleagues that the couple aren’t as close with, but they still want to include in their special day.

Dutch wedding traditions you might spot

When moving to the Netherlands, you’ll be confronted with all sorts of (quirky) traditions. “The same applies to Dutch weddings”, Sarah says.

Guest performances & playful games
Friends and family love to surprise the couple with homemade performances, from songs and sketches to heartfelt speeches. Dutch weddings often feature playful games too, like the classic ‘Mr. & Mrs.’ quiz… or even a round of sjoelen, a traditional shuffleboard game!

One favorite among Dutch wedding traditions? The ‘Alfabet’ speech! Where guests take turns sharing a word, story, or joke about the couple for every letter of the alphabet. “It’s often a mix of genuine praise and good-natured teasing”, Sarah explains. “And yes… it can take a while!”

Wedding parades & boats
If you’re a day guest, you might witness the ‘bruidsstoet’. A festive car parade honking its way from the bride’s house to the venue. “It’s a cheerful tradition, with decorated cars and lots of honking”, Sarah tells us.

And in canal cities like Amsterdam or Leiden, you might even see the couple arrive by boat. Literally ‘stepping into the wedding boat’ (in het huwelijksbootje stappen). Both a tradition and a Dutch expression for getting married.

The ‘ceremoniemeester’
Forget the typical Best Man or Maid of Honour. In the Netherlands, the ceremoniemeester is the go-to person for organizing the day, keeping things running smoothly, and often leading games or speeches. “The ceremoniemeester keeps everything on track! From the schedule to the surprises”, Sarah says.

Bitterballen
Who needs fancy canapés when you’ve got bitterballen? “They’re the ultimate Dutch party snack, nobody can resist them,” Sarah says. Don’t be surprised to see guests in their chicest outfits casually dipping these crispy meatballs in mustard!

Gifting
When it comes to wedding gifts, Dutch couples often keep things practical. It’s quite common for them to ask for money instead of traditional presents and no, this isn’t seen as rude at all!

“In the Netherlands, giving money as a wedding gift is completely normal”, Sarah explains. “Couples often use it for their honeymoon, something for their home, or simply to save for the future.”

If the couple prefers money, you’ll usually spot a subtle hint on the invitation, like a small envelope symbol.

And if they do have a gift registry? Go for it! Dutch couples appreciate guests sticking to their wishes. Unsure what to give? Asking a close friend or family member of the couple is always a good idea.

Ready to attend

By this time, you’re probably either very excited to attend or feeling a bit sceptical about all these unique traditions.

“Either way, no need to worry”, Sarah says. “By keeping an open mind, preparing well and embracing the ‘gezelligheid’, you’ll have no problem enjoying a beautiful Dutch celebration!”

Can’t get enough of Dutch weddings and hoping to plan one of your own? You can find information about traditions, fun ideas, bridal stores, planningtools and wedding venues on ThePerfectWedding.nl.